“Your needs matter too. Not someday when everyone else is taken care of, but right now, in this messy, beautiful moment.”

Alright my loves, can we talk about how revolutionary this actually is?

So many of us, especially women and mothers, will raise with the belief that I need to come last. That we are selfish if we want something for ourselves before everyone else is completely satisfied and happy.

Here's something important to know research shows that women carry about 71% of the mental load in households even when both partners work full time. Mental load isn't just the tasks we do it's remembering what needs to be done, planning how to do it, and managing everyone else's needs and schedules. It's invisible work that runs in the background of our minds constantly.

But here's what I've learned when we consistently put our needs at the bottom of the list, we're not actually serving anyone well. We become resentful, exhausted and disconnected from ourselves. Re-teach our children that some people's needs matter more than others.

Your needs aren't luxuries to be and after you've achieved perfect motherhood or perfect partnership. They’re requirements for being human. You need rest, connection, nourishment, joy, creativity, and space to breathe. These aren't rewards for good behaviour, their basic human requirements.

Right now, in this moment, with dishes in the sink and laundry unfolded and kids who need 17 things, your needs still matter. You don't have to wait until everything is perfect and what you need. Perfect never comes anyway.

Start small. Drink the water. Take the nap. Say no to the thing. Ask for help. Your future self will thank you for believing you are worth caring for today, not someday.

What shifts will you make to look after your needs?

Big love,

Kim x